


Boulevard of Broken Dreams

by Aislashu



Category: Free!
Genre: Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Slight Ep. 11 Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 07:26:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aislashu/pseuds/Aislashu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Post Episode 11*</p><p>After being told he's not in the relay, Rin has a blow up with Seijuurou and leaves. Makoto finds Rin in a bar, drunk and singing at the top of his lungs. Some revelations at the hotel afterwards shake Makoto to the core.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boulevard of Broken Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day, What I've Done by Linkin' Park, and a light Tumblr pic referencing music Rin has picked up in Australia.
> 
> I own none of the bands nor Free! 
> 
> Do enjoy. ♥

    Denied. His raging at Seijuurou hadn't changed that fact. All that time, all that talk, and...nothing. They'd had it out, right there in the hallway. It hadn't been pretty, and in fact had almost come to blows. It changed nothing.   
  
    "I want a fucking beer, mate."  
  
    He'd found a bar nearby that catered to tourists. Which meant the bartender spoke English. Perfect. Four years in Australia, and his English had a tinge of Japanese and Australian in the accent. And thank fucking god his fake Australian I.D. passed muster, because he'd have flipped a shit.   
  
    "You look pissed," the Bartender said, passing Rin a beer.   
  
    "Not yet. Looking to fucking get there." Rin took a deep drink, wiping his mouth. "People are shit, yo."  
  
    "What's got you so upset?"  
  
    "Shonky bastard thinks I'm as useful as tits on a bull," Rin growled. "Fuck 'im. Just keep the amber comin' okay? I'm done talking about that jerk."  
  
    "Sure."  
  
    Rin sipped his beer, brooding over the bottle. He had nothing more to say to the bartender.   
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, staring at the screen. Messages from Nitori, Seijuurou. He rolled his eyes and turned it off, pocketing it again.   
  
    The beer flowed. He didn't know how many he had...only that after a while, he'd had enough to go up to the karaoke machine. He scrolled through the music and just about laughed, coming across the song that has described his life for the past four years, basically.   
  
    " _I WALK A LONELY ROAD_ ," Rin belted at the top of his lungs.   
  
    Drunk...or yes, he was drunk. But at least his voice was good. It was about the middle of the song when Makoto walked in, though.  
  
    " _MY SHADOW HEART'S THE ONLY THING'S THAT BEATING...SOMETIMES I WISH THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE WILL FIND ME...TIL THEN I WALK ALONE!_ "  
  
    "Just how drunk is he?" Makoto frowned, turning to the bartender.  
  
    "Very."  
  
    Makoto sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.  
  
    " _FUCK YOU AND YOUR IWATOBI SWIMMERS, FUCK SAMEZUKA AND IT'S DUMB ASS CAPTAIN.._ " Rin sang to the music once he saw Makoto, swaying on the stage.   
  
    Makoto's eyes crinkled a bit with his soft laugh, shaking his head. He wasn't going to let Rin bother him, not in this state...and not in such an obvious, desperate need. He walked over to Rin, holding his hand out to the redhead.  
  
    "Come on Rin, you're drunk. It's a good thing your event isn't until tomorrow."  
  
    "Shove off, Makoto!"   
  
    "I won't," Makoto reached out and took Rin's hand, pulling the boy from the small stage. "I'm taking you back to the hotel."  
  
    "Why bother? You don't care. None of you freaking care. Nobody gives a shit."  
  
    "That's not true, and you know it," Makoto gave a disappointed sigh followed by a tender smile. "You had us all worried. The only reason I even found you is because you were belting that song at the top of your lungs and I heard it from outside."  
  
    "Bite me."  
  
    "Maybe when you're sober," Makoto murmured, eyes twinkling, especially when Rin was far too stunned to retort.   
  
    Makoto pulled Rin's arm around his shoulders, one hand holding Rin's wrist. His other arm slid around the boy's waist, holding the redhead to his side. Rin's free hand fumbled with his wallet and he paid the bartender, before allowing Makoto to lead him out.  
  
    "Ruining my fun," Rin grumbled.   
  
    "It's a good thing I do so well in English, I don't think I understand you otherwise. Go back to speaking Japanese."  
  
    A string of unintelligible gibberish left Rin's mouth, and Makoto turned his head, staring.   
  
    "What was THAT?"  
  
    "My drunkanese."  
  
    "Your...what? That's not any English word I know," Makoto frowned, confused.   
  
    "Drunk Japanese. I can't speak it when I'm drunk, mate."  
  
    "First you want me to bite you now you want to mate?"   
  
    "What?" Rin blinked, eyes swimming a bit. "No...fuck."  
  
    "Not getting any better there, Rin," Makoto chuckled.   
  
    "I hate you so much right now," Rin hissed, leaning heavily on Makoto.  
  
    "Mm, you should be hating the beer..." he smiled at Rin.   
  
    "He took me off the relay."  
  
    "I know," Makoto murmured, voice filled with apology, not letting the sudden change of subject surprise him. "Did you really want to beat us so badly?" his tone was tinged with sadness, only a touch.  
  
    "Not that," Rin mumbled, head hanging. His hair fell forward, hiding his face.   
  
    Makoto held Rin closer. He was about to ask another question when his phone rang, and he picked it up.   
  
    "Hello? Kou...I found him. No, I...listen...I'm taking him to our hotel, it's closer. Tell Mikoshiba-san I found him...no, he can't come see him right now, he...isn't feeling well. Ok? Thank you."  
  
    Makoto quickly typed out a text to the rest of the Iwatobi boys letting them know Rin had been found. He sent another text to Haruka with a little more detail, letting him know Rin was drunk and asking for the use of their room.  
  
     _ **Take care of him.**_  
  
    Makoto smiled at the answer he got, pocketing his phone.   
  
    "Sorry," Makoto apologized quietly, guiding Rin towards the hotel. "If it's not that, then?"  
  
    "Nothing."  
  
    Makoto didn't push it for now, concentrating on getting Rin to their room. He sat Rin on his bed, getting the boy a glass of water and making him drink.  
  
    "I want to die," Rin murmured.  
  
    "See? Getting drunk isn't that fun."  
  
    "No.." Rin shook his head, turning his deadened gaze towards Makoto. "I want to DIE."  
  
    Makoto's eyes widened and he nearly swayed on his feet, the force of the realization hitting him almost like a blow. He sank to his knees before Rin, resting his hands on Rin's knees, eye to eye with the redhead.  
  
    "Rin...why? Please...please talk to me."  
  
    " _I'll face myself, to cross out what I've become...erase myself, and let go of what I've done..._ " Rin sang softly, voice trembling, cracking.  
  
    Makoto felt his throat close up. His own eyes watered, watching tears well up and slowly fall from Rin's. Makoto felt horrible...he'd always been able to read Haru, even Nagisa, so easily. How had he missed that Rin's actions were the actions of a severely broken boy? How could he not have noticed the pain Rin had been in?  
  
    "I'm so sorry...Rin..."  
  
    "I...I wanted...to swim the relay..." Rin took a shuddering breath, raising a fist to wipe the tears from his eyes, but they wouldn't stop.  "Because...I wanted to feel like...I was swimming one with you all again...even..even if I was against you, maybe...maybe I could feel it, like when we were kids..."  
  
    Rin broke. Makoto watched it happen, and it broke his heart. Rin fell forward against him, sobs wracking his body, and Makoto enveloped Rin in his arms. Rin slid off the bed and to the floor against him, sobbing into his chest.  Sobs and muffled apologies were muttered against it, and Makoto just rocked Rin gently, stroking his hair.   
  
    Makoto didn't know how long he held and rocked Rin's sobbing form. When the sobs calmed, he glanced down, and realized that Rin had cried himself to sleep against his chest. He gathered Rin up carefully and managed to get him onto the bed, then had no choice but to crawl in with him, as Rin's arms were not letting him go.   
  
    He stroked Rin's hair and glanced at the clock, letting out a quiet sigh. They'd missed the relay. He knew it had been a possibility, and still the others had agreed--with the exception of Rei--that going out and finding Rin, making sure he was okay, was the priority. But he still felt as if he'd let everyone down. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Rin's.   
  
    Makoto wouldn't think about it now. Rin came first. He was going to let Rin sleep as long as he needed...then it would be time to finally make the boy talk.


End file.
